Friday, August 29, 2014

What kind of Parent are You?

What Kind of Parent are You?

Take the following quiz to find out what your parenting style is; you'll find the answers at the end of the quiz.
1. If your son hits a child at a sports practice. What would you do?
a. Lose your cool, ground your son for a long time, and or spank him.
b. Ignore the kids and let them handle it.
c. Talk to your son about why hitting is wrong at an appropriate time, and give him a consequence that fits the infraction.  If he does it again, increase the consequence slightly.
2. Your son and his friends have made a big mess, and now they want to go outside. What would you do?
a. Yell at them to clean up now, because you said so.
b. Argue with them, but finally give in and let them do what they want.
c. Help them clean by making a game out of it or ask your son what the rule is before he goes outside.  At an appropriate time discuss why it’s important to clean up, and encourage his questions and minor arguments to spur a dialogue.  If he continues to disobey, tell his friends they have to go home.
3. You and your pre- teen daughter are renting a few movies, and she wants to rent an R- rated movie that all of her friends have seen. What would you do?
a. Tell her no and that’s the end of it.
b. Argue with her that it’s not appropriate, but let her wear you down to let her do what she wants.  It takes too much energy sometimes to fight, and it’s not a big deal anyway.
c. At an appropriate time, discuss with her why an R rated movie is not appropriate for her age, encourage her questions and minor arguments to help spur a discussion.  At present, you help her find a more appropriate movie.  If she continues to argue, warn her she is about to lose her right to any movie.  If she continues, take her home without a movie.
4. You daughter is procrastinating about bedtime by saying that she would like something to eat. What would you do?
a. Make her go to bed hungry because it's her bedtime.  You don’t discuss the rules because you’re the adult, and she shouldn’t question or challenge your rules.
b. Go ahead and let her eat a snack before bed.  You’re just not up for an argument tonight.
c. If this is the first time she’s done this, give her a healthy snack, but an at appropriate time, have a discussion about bedtimes, snacks, and routines.  Encourage her input about what would be best for her at an appropriate time and then hold her to the agreement you strike with her.  If after a discussion she still relies on using excuses to stay up, make her go to bed without a snack.
5. What do you do if you kids don't do their chores?
a. Yell and make them do it right then.
b. Do the chores yourself.  It’s easier than arguing!
c. Remind them that they need to do their chores.  Encourage them to brainstorm what is the best way to remember to do the chores and how they will get done.  Hold them to the agreement by giving appropriate pre-agreed consequences that fit the infraction if they don’t stick to the agreed rule.
10. What is the main goal of parenting and discipline?
a. To make your children obey you because they are the child and you are the adult.
b. To make sure that everyone is happy.  You worry that if you make your child follow the rules, they might hate you, and that’s never healthy either.
c. To raise your children to be independent, responsible people by helping them think for themselves, take responsibility for their actions, and lead productive, happy lives.  Although you have rules and make your children follow them, you have fair consequences and encourage a lot of discussion and even minor arguing and compromise making from both sides.

If you had more 'A' answers, you are more of an authoritarian parent. You stress the importance of obedience in regards to authority, no questions asked. Most authoritarian parents rely on punishment only and a ‘because I said so’ mentality.  You are often the cold rule enforcer and believe allowing ‘arguments’ could make you appear weak as a parent or make your child weak.  You have all the power.

If you had more 'B' answers, you are more of a permissive parent, which means that you exercise very little if any control. You are often more of a friend than a parent to your child.  Your child ultimately has most of the power.

If you had more 'C' answers, you are more of an authoritative parent.  You have rules and give appropriate consequences for your child, but also encourage them to think for themselves, voice their opinion, and learn to manage their own behavior.  You always make sure that your child understand that even if they make mistakes, you love them.  You are warm but firm with your children.  You empower your child.

Your school social worker is always available for parenting support.  Call Rachel Parker at (803) 575-5455 or email at

Monday, August 11, 2014

RIP Robin Williams: Save a Life, Learn How to Identify and Help a Suicidal Person

Robin Williams' death is a tragedy.  Learn what you can do to prevent this from happening to someone you know and/or love.

Signs a person MAY be suicidal

  • Gives valued things away
  • Obsessed with death
  • Verbal statements about wanting to die
  • Perfectionism
  • Dealing with a major recent crisis
  • Apathetic/Depressed
  • Unexplained anger, impulsivity, risk taking
  • Substance use
  • Recent attempt by family or friend

What NOT to do:
  • Never tell a depressed or suicidal person to ‘snap out of it’ or ‘get over it’.
  • Don’t ignore a depressed loved one.
  • Don’t ask “You’re not serious, are you?” or “You’re not thinking of suicide are you?” or “You’re kidding, right?”

What to do:

  • Be persistent about making sure the person is ok.
  • Talk privately.
  • Allow plenty of time.
  • Ask them outright if they are suicidal – how you ask is less important than that you ask it. See the next suggestion about how to ask THE question.
  • Get the person to a professional ASAP. NEVER wait. It is best to physically take them to a counselor or the emergency room as soon as they confirm they are suicidal.
  • Never allow a suicidal person to be alone.

How to ask THE question:

  • Do you ever wish you could go to sleep and never wake up?
  • When people are as upset as you seem to be, they sometimes wish they were dead. Do you feel that way, too?
  • Are you thinking about killing yourself?
  • You look miserable, are you thinking of committing suicide?
  • If you are uncomfortable doing this, get the person to someone who is trained, such as a school counselor, a medical professional, or a counselor.

The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255. Use it if you or a loved one is or is suspected to be suicidal.